Thursday, January 03, 2008

Where Have All The Hours Gone?

How to tell if your kids' hockey is taking over your life:

 You base the next purchase of your new vehicle on whether it will hold six kids, six sticks, and six hockey bags.

 You know the location of every hockey store within a 400 mile radius.

 You relate directions to places by the nearest arena.

 You know every single kid on every single team your child has ever played on... but you don't have a clue who his school mates are.

 You feel lost when you have a free weekend.

 Your spouse waits until you decide where to sit and then chooses a spot on the opposite side of the arena.

 You become a partner in a skate sharpening business to save money.

 You can justify complaining about someone who gives hundreds of hours of volunteer time to coach your son or daughter.

 You ground your kids for a week (except for hockey practice).

 You rationalize spending $159 on a Synergy for a 9 year-old but won't spend $5 on a birthday card for your wife.

 When someone asks how old your children are you respond, "I have a '94 and a '97."

 You have had to use a grandparent to take kid #1 to a tournament because Dad was in a different county with kid #2 at a tournament and Mom had kid #3 two counties away in a 3rd tournament - all in one weekend.

 Practices make up a very large part of your social life.

 You buy gloves according to how loud you can clap in them.

 You find yourself missing the parents of your child's team mates during the off-season.

 You refuse to make any plans with your friends until you check your kids' hockey schedule.

 You take out a home loan to pay for all the equipment and expenses.

 You plan the birth of your next child so he/she has a good "hockey birthday".

 Your new baby's first word is Zamboni.

 All your computer passwords begin with "hockey" or contain your child's jersey number.

 You purchase a new $135.00 stick because the old one "didn't have any goals left in it."

 You knows a few 5 year-olds that are good but "lack focus".

 You’re kids ask if Christmas is "home or away".

 When your have to decide between a game or first communion you ask the church what your options are.


See you at the rink!

4 comments:

gitsul said...

don't forget the one where you and the other hockey parents celebrate New Year's eve together pot-luck style in a Mankato hotel room because your team was away that day

Sven said...

If I didn't know better I'd say you were speaking from experience. Our out-of-town tournament is in Rochester this year. We will be there next weekend. I think Emma is just as excited about staying in a hotel as she is about playing in the tournament.

BTW, your Christmas card was returned again. I thought for sure I had your address right this time. I guess not.

Charlie said...

So. Will baseball season overlap with hockey season so that you disappear for the summer?

Happy New Hockey Year!

OneEar said...

You stop posting your personal memos.